She's Got the Wrong Guy: Why Smart Women Settle
"Why aren't you married yet?" "You'd better hurry up!" "You are too picky!" "You are resisting God's sanctifying work in your life!" "What is wrong with you that you are still single?"
These common comments made to older Christian single women give some indication of the pressure that they face to marry. As well as hearing such hurtful comments, usually sermons are full of illustrations from Christian family life and church activities revolve around couples and families. The singles are the odd bunch.
This not only puts Christian singles under pressure to marry, but it also gives the impression that they are missing out on God's intention for them. Over the course of many years, I have seen many women marry men when it was clear that it was not a wise choice. Usually they married because of pressure, a desire to fit in, and fear of childlessness and of being alone.
She Got the Wrong Guy
She Got the Wrong Guy is written for women in this position to help them ground their lives in Christ. The book is divided into three parts: from problems to faith, am I dating the wrong guy, and the quest for a godly man.
In part one, from problems to faith, the author describes the challenge that Christian single women face in the 21st century. He explains that her starting point needs to be a dependence on Christ as he knows her struggle and cares for her. From here, the author gives reasons why Christian women settle for unsuitable men and finishes by encouraging them to trust Christ in whom they lack no good thing.
Part two, am I dating the wrong guy, covers ten different types of men whom Christian women should not marry. They are the control freak, the promiscuous guy, the unchurched guy, the new convert, the unbeliever, the angry man, the lone ranger, the commitment-phobic man, the passive man, and the unteachable guy. Counsel is given about how to relate to such men.
Part three gives instruction about the quest for a godly man, by answering the question of how you know if someone is the wrong guy, and if so, what you should do. Advice is given about how to break up in a way that honors God, pursuing real Christian men, and waiting to the honor of God knowing that Christ is enough and that his grace will sustain you.