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God's Care for the Widow

 

It is an incredibly painful experience to lose someone you love. This is especially true if you lose your spouse. When you are grieving, you go through a whole range of things from constant crying, to crying at unexpected times, times of deep loneliness and sorrow, and even experiencing literal heartache.

Everywhere you go, you are reminded that your husband has gone. He is no longer sitting at the table at meal times, is not there when you come home, you no longer sit next to him at church. When you go out with friends, the others are couples, while you are on your own.

Throughout your marriage, you divided the responsibilities. Now he is gone, you have to learn to do the things he always took care of. Perhaps this included the garden, car maintenance, and finances.

  

The horribleness of your experience is normal. When God made us, death did not exist. It was only after people rebelled against God, that suffering and death became part of existence. The grief of losing someone for them never to come back is not part of how we were made.

 Jesus himself experienced the sorrow of death when he cried at the death of his friend Lazarus (John 11:35). He cares so much about us that he became human to defeat death and to help people like us who were enslaved by fear of death (Hebrews 2:14-15), and he makes life after death possible for us because he rose from the dead (1 Corinthians 15:20-28).

 His care for you is also seen in that you are not alone as a believer. His Spirit is with you and helps you (John 14:16). God wants you to pray to him when you need his grace and mercy (Hebrews 4:16).

He is with you, cares for you, and wants you to pray to him. Please do so with all the things that you are going through. I am thinking of your sorrow, hurt, anger, and confusion.

 Grief is a very personal experience, so how you experience it will be different than how other people have. It will probably be different than how other people expect you to grieve. Everything takes time and it is normal for it to be hard. Sadly, it is common for well-intentioned people to make hurtful comments or to criticize you because you are not grieving as they expect. Please pray to the Lord about this if this happens. Being uncomfortable, crying, and missing someone are not wrong.

 When you are ready, it might be a good idea to receive help from others for the things that your husband did and you don’t know how to do.

 If you are going through this, I am truly sorry. If you would like a short booklet to read which could be a help, I highly recommend Becoming a Widow: The Ache of Missing Your Other Half



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