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What is Gaslighting?

 




Gaslighting is a term that we hear a lot. It comes from the play “Gaslight” in which a husband tries to convince his wife that she is insane so that he can steal from her. It is about crazy making.

'Gaslighting' where the abuser slowly corrodes the foundation of logic on which a person has learned to make decisions and take action; and doubts her own perceptions. When an abuser is gaslighting, they say and do things that lead the victim to doubt their own perceptions.  

Here are some examples: 

·        Ask her to pick something up and later deny that they asked, or vice versa

·        Always want their steak well done and then say they want it rare. Or vice versa. In each scenario, the abuser accuses the victim that they should know this and being stupid for not

·      Things disappear for an unknown reason only to reappear after looking for a long period. For example, the car keys might not be where they are always put. After searching for them for a long period of time, she reports them lost to the police. When she gets back from reporting them lost, they are where they are always put. 

If you go along with this, it could lead you to doubting your ability to think and understand things. You might even start wondering if you are losing your mind.

When this happens, you might turn to your abuser to tell you how to think and understand things. 

The result is that you will become dependent on the abuser for your thinking. 

If you are being treated in this way, you do not have to go along with it. We have been given a mind and are to think about what is true. It is important to think about what is being said and done to you and ask if it is true. Does the Bible address it? What does the Bible teach? If the Bible is being used in a way that you think is to control and confuse you, I would suggest talking to older, godly and wise people who have walked with the Lord all of their lives, understand people, and show by their lives that he is faithful and true to his Word. 

If you would like to understand more about emotional abuse and how to help people who are being treated in this way, please check out my books: 

The Emotionally Abusive Mindset: Its Effects & How to Overcome Them in Christ: https://mybook.to/EmotAbusiveMindset

 The Emotionally Abusive Husband: Its Effects & How to Overcome Them in Christ: https://mybook.to/EmotAbusiveHusband

 And The Emotionally Abusive Parent: Its Effects & How to Overcome Them in Christ: https://viewbook.at/EmotAbusiveParent

 All of them are available at: www.annedryburgh.com

 

 

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