Conversations for Change

  In OvercomingAddiction: 9 Steps Toward Freedom , Brad Hambrick has written a gem of a small group workbook for helping people struggling with addictions. As part of the G4 series, he covers nine steps in the recovery process. These steps cover admitting the struggle, understanding the impact of the addiction, and how the addiction developed. From here, the steps encompass repentance, relationships, restructuring life, and understanding various forms of temptation at different stages of the recovery process. The book is insightful, compassionate, and helpful.

  Elyse Fitzpatrick, in her updated The Afternoon of Life:Finding Joy and Purpose in Midlife , helpfully covers many areas of life that change as a person ages. She recognises the changes and challenges that come, the health issues that are commonly faced, the changes to a person’s appearance, and the need to wisely deal with changes in relationships. Each chapter compassionately describes a challenge or change and then offers wise advice for how to live well in each area. A helpful book.

  In Understanding Trauma , Steve Midgley wisely and compassionately guides and leads the reader into a deeper understanding of this devastating experience. Midgley sensitively writes in such a way that the reader comes away with compassionate insight into what trauma victims experience. He discerningly shares secular insights on the experience of trauma and follows on from this to provide a loving biblical perspective on it. As well as providing insights, he also gives pointers for how churches can support and care for people who have gone through this terrible experience. I highly recommend this book.

People in the West typically consider happiness, comfort, health, and good relationships normal in life. When someone’s experience does not fit the mould, it can add to the pain and isolation that they are already suffering. In Disrupted Journey: Walking with Your Loved One Through Chronic Pain and Illness, Nate Brooks shares in deeply honest ways about his journey with his wife’s chronic pain. Brooks helpfully covers our expectations of life, disappointments, navigating life changes, and how to handle suffering. When tackling how to handle suffering, he speaks honestly about his struggles and how he experiences his faith. He also gives helpful examples from biblical characters and the importance of friendships with wise people. This short book is excellent for people experiencing unexpected pain and turmoil and searching for light and hope for the unknown path ahead.  If you are interested in the book, you can find it  here

  Curtis and Jenny Solomon speak about helping wives who have been hurt by their husband's struggle with p*rnography. Her book is available here: https://www.amazon.com/Reclaim-Your-Marriage-Grace-Pornography/dp/1645072274/ Curtis' book for helping the husband is available here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1645072258

  Navigating Destructive Relationships by Brad Hambrick is one of the books in the G4 series. This series of books are gospel-centered resources written for small groups who meet together to work on life issues. In Navigating Destructive Relationships, Hambrick walks the reader through nine steps, or phases, for understanding their relationships, seeing the dynamics involved, being specific about areas in life that need the Lord's help and change, and how to build healthier and God-honoring relationships.  The book requires an honest heart and a willingness and a lot of work. The result will be living and relating in healthier and God-honoring ways. The book is available  here

Brief description: Aimed at pointing the reader to Jesus the Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6), Overcoming Emotional Abuse: 40 Days in the Word of God is a Scripture-saturated devotional which will help the reader in their journey from brokenness to healing. It can also be used at the same time as seeing a good counselor. Others may find it useful in better understanding the kind of pain that people have experienced in terms of emotional abuse, and the victory we have in Christ. The book contains: • Many Scriptures related to God’s character • The various effects of emotional abuse and their biblical solution • Case studies • Questions for reflection • Dedicated space to write notes, prayers, or important thoughts you want to remember The book is available here: https://mybook.to/OEA40

  Dr. Kevin Hurt teaches us about how to help angry people.

  Many Christians have gone through dark nights of the soul. They have clung onto the Lord and life in times of deep despair and sorrow in this fallen world. If they have believed that Christians should never be like this, their grief and sorrow is compounded. Midnight Mercies, by Christine Chappell, gives voice to the experience of despair. While being written for depressed mothers, the book will be helpful for anybody in such a dark place. Chappell looks at common experiences despairing people have, examines people from Scripture who went through the same, and points to helpful Scriptural truth. Chappell ends describing how experiencing the gracious Lord Jesus brought life and hope and transformed her view of herself and her situation. I highly recommend this book. The book is available  here

  Ed Welch has written an excellent short book about how to care for others while they are grieving. In the book, he covers how to respond wisely with wisdom, with compassion, and with humility. In each section, he gives real life examples of how people have cared well and cared badly. Then he walks us through how to care well by asking the reader practical, reflective questions. This is an excellent short book, which I would highly recommend. The book can be purchased  here

  It is probably true that all of us go through times when we have questions about our faith and know the importance of looking for answers. This gives us an understanding heart for teenagers when they have questions about the faith they are growing up with. Mike McGarry in Discover: Questioning Your Way to Faith provides short but robust answers to 20 questions that teenagers commonly ask. These questions cover apologetics, doctrine, hermeneutics, ethics, mental health, and the spiritual life. It is an excellent resource to use as a platform for talking about, thinking over, and discussing these issues.

  Probably all of us know people who struggle with anxiety and depression that is in some way related to their social media use. John Perritt, in   Social Media Pressure: Finding Peace Alongside Jesus is written as a response. He writes   about a number of ways in which people’s relationships, mental health, and perception of the world around them are affected by the way they use social media. Perritt gives advice about how people can gain more peace in their lives, how they can relate more thoughtfully, and how they can recognize when they are addicted. Social Media Pressure is a helpful book that gives some basic guidelines about using social media in a healthy way.

  After having raised three teenage children, Kristen Hatton wrote Parenting Ahead: Preparing Now for the Teen Years  to share some of what the Lord taught her with parents who are still to reach this stage. Often parents of younger children are looking for advice and help because they are fearful of the teen years. The book is split into three parts: Part 1: a foundation for long range, redemptive, hope-filled parenting Part 2: some pitfalls that deter parents from living out the gospel or cause them to lose sight of it And Part 3: what living redemptively in the home might look like. Parenting Ahead is a very helpful book that touches on the basics of these areas. It would be useful to read this book with parents and then explore how to apply what it suggest to their own situations

For people seeking to help women know the Lord's life-giving grace after such horrific suffering. Reprinted and republished from a previous version. Ebook available here on February 21st, print version on March 21st.

  Gaslighting is a term that we hear a lot. It comes from the play “Gaslight” in which a husband tries to convince his wife that she is insane so that he can steal from her.  It is about crazy making. ' G aslighting' where the abuser slowly corrodes the foundation of logic on which a person has learned to make decisions and take action; and doubts her own perceptions . When an abuser is gaslighting, they say and do things that lead the victim to doubt their own perceptions.    Here are some examples:   ·         Ask her to pick something up and later deny that they asked, or vice versa ·         Always want their steak well done and then say they want it rare. Or vice versa. In each scenario, the abuser accuses the victim that they should know this and being stupid for not ·       Things disappear for an unknown reason only to reappear after looking for a long period. ...

  This is very difficult to answer because everyone is different. Abusers turn their victims into being loyal toward them. If anyone is seen to question that, it is treated as being against them. You require a lot of wisdom.   Here are some suggestions:   ·         If you push what you see, your child might think you don’t understand and believe the abuser that you are against them and their love ·         Try to stay in their lives in a wise way. The abuser will probably sense that you are not easily controlled and speak badly of you to your child. This could result in their mind becoming poisoned against you and usually leads to isolation ·         If you do nothing, it will be terrible for your child ·         Pray for the Lord’s leading, wisdom, or for him to provide opportunities to speak ·     ...

  Without suggesting you become suspicious, it is important to note that abusive patterns can start to become evident before a couple gets married. Addressing these can help people possibly avoid making a bad decision.   Things to look out for may include:   ·         Persuading the other person to come to bed ·         Getting them to expose themselves in person or online ·         Rape before marriage ·         Starting to control how they spend their money ·         Starting to control how much time they spend with others and who they see, including relatives ·         Not being willing to admit to any wrongdoing in a conflict or disagreement, while putting the blame solely on the other ·         Not allowing the...

  We often hear people being described as narcissists, but what does it mean?   The secular world defines a narcissist in the DSM as:   A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood, and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by 5 or more of the following:   ·        Has a grandiose sense of self-importance ·        Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love ·        Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions ·        Requires excessive admiration ·        Has a sense of entitlement ·        Is interpersonally exploitativ...

  Are you concerned about the way that someone is treating you or treating someone you care about? Do you suspect their behavior might be abusive? How could you tell? To be able to know how to spot abusive behavior, we must first have some insights into what abuse is. Abuse involves someone who is entitled and expects the victim to live for them. Life for the victim has to revolve around the abuser, which is expressed by controlling the victim.   Researchers have discovered a number of behaviors included in this type of behavior:   ·        Verbal abuse   If someone is being verbally abusive, they will speak in an attacking or hurtful manner. Overt abuse is “openly demeaning” behavior that includes belittling, yelling, name-calling, criticizing, ordering around, sulking, accusing, ridiculing, insulting, trivializing, expressing disgust toward you, threatening, blaming, humiliating, shouting, and shaming.  Covert abuse is subtl...

  Ebook released today: “Wives abuse husbands too” is a common response to the much needed resources that have been produced in recent years to help abused wives. The Emotionally Abusive Mindset: Its Effects & How to Overcome Them in Christ is a new resource that addresses abusive wives. It also covers husband to wife, parental, and sibling abuse, as well as abuse of older people, people with disabilities, and spiritual abuse. The ebook will be available from November the 8th and the print version from November 29th. You can find the book here